EPISODE TWO: LET US ROCK


FASTEN YOUR METAPHORICAL SAFETY BELTS, because we are about to launch into the full POWER of Year 2 of the GRATE Artists Against Success story.

Has it really been five months since we last released a record? It seems like only THE OTHER DAY that a gagging for it world was mightily pleasured by Pala's "Be A Celebrity" single and Johnny Domino's "Rabbit Themes" album, for LO! we have not been resting since then. Through several meetings, our AGM, and a jolly AWAY DAY in the PEAKS, the ever thinking BOARD have been devising many cunning THINGS and PLANS for your further enjoyment. Armed with PLAN and JOY, the next few months will see an veritable AVALANCHE of records and policy initiatives for you to wallow in and enjoy.

First out of the gates is the very marvellous WANDRIN ALLSTARS single, "The Good People Of America". Out on June 14th, it's a Hip Hop Hoedown with larrupings of good-time mouth organ based disco dancing, and the presence of WHITE TOWN and CUBAN BOYS remixes on this HEAVY slab of 12" vinyl has meant that it's caused quite a stir even BEFORE anyone has heard it. Ambulance teams are POISED to deal with the ORGASM PLAGUE that will occur when it fondles the public aurally.

Hot on the heels of THAT, is a whole album by THE FIGHTING COCKS, "Come And See" out on July 12th. Formerly known as SZEKI KURVA, these rampant Hungarian gypsy Essex boys and girls make a mighty NOISE of hardcore explosion furiously bound up with TUNES and POP music, including a rather GLORIOUS Doris Day cover and 12 other songs that BOUNCE with RIGHTEOUSNESS. It's really really really good. Look out for a SLEW of gigs when it's released - seeing them live is like seeing no other band. Oh, and the rumours about them threatening our CHAIRMAN with DEATH? They are all TRUE.

And if THAT's not enough for you, also forthcoming is "Hey Hey 16K", the new single from MJ HIBBETT & THE VALIDATORS, a split single between LAZER GUIDED and Martian Popsters (from Reading) SALOON, the long-awaited compilation album, and a few returns and surprise arrivals, waiting to titillate you next time. We like to keep you in anticipation, because we know you love it. You slags.


OUT AND ABOUT WITH AAS

"THOSE AAS PERSONS", say Agents of THE MAN, "They are lazy sods - it's ages since they put a record out, so soon the MINDS of THE KIDS will be OURS! HAHAHAA!"

Nuts to you, Agents of THE MAN, for beneath the tranquil surface, AAS has been a FROTH of FRENZIED ACTION. We reported on our AGM last time, but unrevealed was the background work undertaken at our Management Away Day in THE PEAKS. The entire BOARD went there, developing new plans, SCHEMES and policy directives, before BONDING in the time honoured fashion of singing the entire "Calamity Jane" soundtrack at two in the morning. ROCK. The results of this meeting will be seeping into Year Two as we wonder along, but you can look out for a few EXCITING things, including The QUALITY MANUAL, a GRATE tome we are working on to FORMALISE our PROCESSES and also to act as a GUIDE to anyone else wanting to get into this krazy kookoo world of ROCK.

That's THE BOARD, but let's not forget THE BANDS - after all, they are the ones on the records, are they not? A big CHUNK of them played the Inner City Crawl in Derby, and that was GRATE. It combined two of the TOUCH STONES OF LIFE (Pubs and ROCK) for a beautiful day wandering from pub to pub, meeting PALS and being entertained. A group of extremely pissed oafs were spotted towards the end of the night, and we would like to state here and now that this was NOT us, it was just someone who looked like us. Our EVIL TWINS. Anyway, Stumble, Lazer Guided and Pala all played, and they were BRILLIANT. Touchingly, some London Industry Types finally heard the Call To Derby too. It's about time.

Talking of LONDON, this Tuesday sees a bit of a London SPLATTERING, as both Stumble and The Fighting Cocks play the same night (june 8th), the former at the Red Eye, the latter at The Dublin Castle. Healthy exercised cockneys might wish to dash between the two. It is exciting because it is the first time EVER any of us have regretted living in THE MIDLANDS.

And finally, we prepare for more Out And AboutedNESS this summer, as AAS (though its involvement with LollopaLeicester) takes a hand in The Abbey Park Festival on August 14th - Stumble, Lazer Guided, Johnny Domino and the Fighting Cocks all play, alongside the likes of Twinkie, Cato and more. It will be GOOD, and is only the first of a number of Actual Gig Things we have lined up. Keep watching baby, and keep VALID.



BOARD FOCUS

our series ends with Mr MJ Hibbett

Favourite drink: A nice pint of BASS
Would you like one? Go on then.
Favourite crisp flavour: Salt and Lineker
Chinese, Curry, or Pizza? Cheese Tomata PINEAPPLE Pizza.
Favourite member of Take That: Was Gary, until he SOLD OUT, briefly Mark, now settled on Robbie. Take That are GRATE.
Favourite Pub: The Durham Ox, Leicester.
Why do you want this position? To overcome my chronic inability to SHOW OFF. No luck so far.
If we asked you friends what was your worst quality, what would they say? Making everybody else look rubbish.
What is your message to the KIDS? Be more like the Boulder than the Pebble in the sea. It will make life easier - I know because it worked for me.
Favourite bit in Star Wars: The flying motorbike race.


NEWS IN BRIEF ++ webpages overhauled, updated, prettified ++ pre-history of AAS now available to read online++ Wandrin' Allstars gain fame through joys of teletext ++ Project B awaits reaction, Project K takes action ++ Mr Fleay set to play Nice ++ Mr Hibbett tries to sing nice ++ Fighting Cocks' Doris Day cover hits Agents of THE MAN ++ join our club, join our list