RECORDS, RECORDS, TEN QUID A THROW
Buy a record sir? Ten quid a go, or 9.99 to you. Go on sir (OR MADAM), you've got a kind face, give a band an honest tenner?

YES you guess correctly, it is time once again for us to ASK, nay DEMAND that you HIE to your local stale smelling independent record shop and BUY not ONE ... not TWO... but... oh, sorry, no, TWO albums. For LO! AT LAST and FINALLY after EONS of these newsletters saying they'd be out soon, we are JOYOUS and full of VIM to announce the Actual Release of BOTH the Johnny Domino AND MJ Hibbett & the Validators albums.

NO, come back, don't HIE there just yet, we know you WANT IT, but may we just further titilate you with some information about them first? Let's start with the Johnny Domino album "Players". It's NINE tracks, including a rerecording of their earlier REVEAL single "Oh! Chimpy", all of which are steadily being ground into the consciousness of THE KIDS, or at least US. Favourites here in our entirely fictional office are "What Everyone Wants" (ooh it's lovely) and the MIGHTY set-closer "This Ones For The Kid." Altogether now, "... and if you find this in the future, and it means something to you, then dig us up and shake our hands because we finally got through."

Who knows why that CHIMES so well eh? Meanwhile, out on the SAME DAY is the similarly long-awaited "Say It With Words" from MJ Hibbett & The Validators. 14 tracks this time, including the Internet SMASHEROO "Hey Hey 16K" (FREE from http://listen.to/HeyHey16K), the "lost" "classic" "Born With The Century" and a whole bunch of sleeve notes and lyrical GANSTAisms.

BOTH these albums OFFICIALLY come out on April 3rd, though the CUNNING among you may find it hiding in shops UNNOTICED right this very minute. There's only a LIMITED number of each, so GIT down there now and buy them before they run out. Please. PLEASE.


MEANWHILE, IN THE LIVE ARENA

Simultaneously the above two bands have been TOURING. In an CALM and GENTLEMANLY style, the 4 WEEK "Players With Words" (cheers) Tour includes much needed rests between gigs. Of about a week each. Already ROCKED have been Leicester and Nottingham, but there's still time to see both bands playing in London (on April 4th at the Bull & Gate) and Derby (April 10th, Victoria Inn). Do come along, your presence will bring pleasure to all.

It's also our sad duty to reveal a FINAL GIG for one of our bands... well, sort of anyway. Lazer Guided will be METAMORPHOSING into a different, yet still strangely similar, line-up over the next couple of months, and play their FINAL gig in the current design at the Vic in Derby on April 3rd. It will be an evening of sadness, of poignancy, and, of course, of VISCERAL INTENSITY. They're playing their PENULTIMATE gig in Reading this Friday (31st March), with single-mates SALOON who, we are PLEASED to announce, have another single out next week. It's called Shopping/Song For HUgo, and it's out on AMBERLEY records. We also understand that The 'Loon have been living up to their NAME with all sorts of antics - let's leave it to Adam from the band to explain:

"Before the gig Matt saw for the first time a video of The Who at Woodstock, the version of My Generation (blues) where Townshend trashes his guitar like never before. The next night supporting Laika Matt breaks a string during the mad ending to Spacer, rather than picking up his spare he hold his axe in the air and with full force smashes it down into his amp Twnshend style. He then picks it up and throws it offstage. Personally I was a bit embarrassed (my Mum & Dad were there) but the punters lapped it up."

Notice the way he uses the word "axe" so freely and so naturally. Go and see Saloon kids, they ROCK.


WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT?

Much of our energies just lately have been focussed on the Players With Words Massive Promotional Campaign, we must admit, and so things may go a bit quiet over the next few months. This is not to say we're not BREWIN UP A POT OF ROCK or anything, far from it. For instance, FRANKIE MACHINE have recently been in the studio recording the follow-up to their ACCLAIMED debut single, early reports suggest it is "beautiful, delicate, and nearly finished." More news on this next time, but get ready for a release sometime in the summer. Also we can report that THE FIGHTING COCKS have Done An Otway and signed a Major Label TO THEM. As with all things Fighting Cock, we're a bit confused, but have received some REMUNERATION from these beautiful children, which will be going towards the long-heralded compilation album. Stick around for more news another time, and watch TOTP for them doing "Love Somebody, Yes I Do" this summer. Well, you won't be able to avoid it, but still.


BAND MEMBER FOCUS

Favourite drink: Ass' milk
Would you like one? You got ass' milk?
Favourite crisp flavour: Salt and Vinegar Chip Sticks
Chinese, Curry of Pizza? Pizza
Favourite member of Take That: Can't remember his name - the tall one with long hair, can't sing for toffee - yeh he's my fave.
Favourite Pub: Slip Inn - Longwood
Why do you want this position: I want to do shit
What is your message to THE KIDS? It'll be right!
Favourite bit in Star Wars: "Use the force Luke" and he drives that torpedo home

NEWS IN BRIEF ++ Management Away Day gets RESULTS ++ Are there any magazines left who HAVEN'T featured Stumble? ++ listen to your radio, we are coming ++ Series of EPs to come in the autumn ++ REVEAL singles are our friends ++ Pala single out on REPEAT Records April 3rd ++ Charlie Meets Billie (film rights available) ++ Age found to wither us after all ++